You’re Drunk Jules

Can you believe that it’s been nearly six years since the premiere of Superbad? I don’t know about you, but that sure makes me feel old. But I am not here to talk about how fast these years have gone, instead let’s focus on two of the main actors in Superbad. No, I am not referring to Jonah Hill and Michael Cera, whose careers will forever be compared because of their co-starring breakout roles in the film (Jonah has the edge because of his versatility, despite Cera’s early lead). And no I am not referring to Seth Rogan and Bill Hader, although Rogan’s career has continued to flourish and Hader has become much more of a household name since the film. For all the McLovin fans out there I’m not even talking about Christopher Mintz-Plasse either (who in my opinion will never completely break free from the iconic role). Instead I want to take a closer look at the vastly different careers of the two leading actresses in the film, who play the characters of Becca and Jules.

If I asked you: “Who played Jules in Superbad?” You would probably respond with something along the lines of “oh that’s easy, Emma Stone.” And it is easy, because Emma Stone was a small part in the aforementioned film and is now a bona fide Hollywood superstar.

Now if I asked you: “Who played Becca in Superbad?” Now that’s a much harder question. The answer: Martha MacIsaac. Wait, who?! You know the girl who in the TV show Emily of New Moon (just kidding, I have no idea what that is and neither should you).

So whatever happened to Becca’s career? I honestly do not even feel comfortable writing her real name when I refer to her, because Becca is the only role she will ever be known for. But enough bashing her, lets take a look. Her first movie post Superbad? The remake of Wes Craven’s directorial debut, The Last House on the Left. Sure, the movie is over the top with its gore but definitely scores points for having Aaron Paul in it (bitch), and is not the worst horror movie I’ve ever seen. The problem for Becca is that she has the unfortunate role of the character that gets killed first; meaning her overall screen time in the film is very limited. Even though that worked out pretty well for an unknown Johnny Depp in A Nightmare on Elm Street (another Craven film that got re-made), Becca has had a lot less luck. Since Last House, which premiered in 2009, Becca has not been in a movie worth noting, which is just plain sad.

Meanwhile, her female counterpart Emma Stone has exploded. Think about the movies Emma Stone has been in since 2009: Zombieland, Easy A, Friends with Benefits, Crazy, Stupid, Love, The Help and The Amazing Spider-Man. That’s an incredible run of hit movies in a row. Honestly, it’s not even fair to compare these two actresses, but it still interesting to think how opposite their careers have gone, considering how similar their roles in the film were. Maybe, Emma Stone is just the perfect combination of sexy and cute. (See what I did there?) Either way, let’s give it up for Becca/Martha, the actress who made the phrase “blow-jay” popular for a short time. Speaking of which, whatever happened to the “Kyle’s Killer Lemonade” girl?

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The NBA’s Double Standard

Carmelo Anthony has been suspended one game for almost (I stress almost) coming to blows with Kevin Garnett the other night after a hard fought battle between the Knicks and Celtics at the Garden. While Carmelo’s actions were not the most gracious, the fact is that nothing came of it– no punches thrown, no physical contact, nothing. And yet he has been suspended. Meanwhile let’s take a look at Kevin Garnett’s track record:

Christmas Day 2011:

Kevin Garnett misses the game winning buzzer beater on opening day of lockout-shortened season. Does he shake hands and walk off the court? Of course not, he instead grabs Bill Walker (Bill Walker?) by the throat and shoves him, simply because he is a sore loser. That seems at least fine worthy, right? According to the league offices Garnett deserved neither a fine nor a suspension for an unprovoked assault on a below average player.

January 2011:

The Phoenix Suns are cruising to victory over the Boston Celtics, Channing Frye goes up for a three pointer and Kevin Garnett flicks his fist towards Frye’s man region, scoring a direct hit. A literal low blow. Garnett gets ejected from the game for the most cowardly move a man can make when hitting another man, but does he get suspended or fined by the league? Nope.

November 2012:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQg_QodafhI

Kevin Garnett goes up for a routine lay-up and ex-Mr. Kardashian aka Kris Humphries fouls him to prevent the easy bucket. Not only does Garnett completely flop by falling to the floor from a light foul (seriously, I got hit harder than that playing middle school tennis) his punk partner in crime Rajon Rondo takes a break from bumping referees to try and start a brawl with Humphries over absolutely nothing. And where was Garnett during all of this you may ask? He can be seen clearly tripping Humphries (who is already outmatched several Celtics to one Net mind you) to make sure he falls to the floor. Does Garnett face penalty? If you’re reading this I think you get the point: No. The worst part? Garnett has the audacity to claim that Humphries is the one who has “always been out of control” and who has “always tried to play the tough guy”.  Is Kevin Garnett sure who he’s even talking about? Kris Humphries, a tough guy? You’re kidding KG, right?

These are only three of many instances of Kevin Garrett, who has said he is not “thuggish or anything like that,” being . . .”thuggish.” While being an enforcer is certainly a role on any NBA team, there has to be consequences for repeated physical altercations with other players. Carmelo Anthony was out of line for trying –not succeeding–to get into a fight with Garnett after the game, however, the fact remains that suspending Melo is a complete double standard when it comes to punishment handed down from the league offices. They love suspending Rajon Rondo, but how much can Kevin Garnett away with before he gets suspended? Does he have to punch a player square in the face during the game, or would that not be enough? Carmelo Anthony will miss Thursday nights Nationally Televised game against the Indiana Pacers, David Stern seems more likely to fine himself $250,000 (as he did to Gregg Popovich) for making that game less meaningful than he is to suspend Garnett. I guess anything is possible.